HOWIE's Fishing Tales: Turtle Soup
by Steven Palmer
Fade into a peaceful lake scene. A bird flies by and leaves its mark. The bird's mess lands on Howie's bald head as he pops up from the boat. Howie, with his big black rimmed glasses, round stomach and toothy smile, is sitting in his motorboat getting ready to do some fishing. His elated happiness is because fishing and nature are his passions. He takes a worm (cut to: french worm who explains how he is not happy about his life) and ties it in a knot around the hook. The worm is relieved. He throws the line in and waits. He happily hums a tune and a dragon fly lands on his pole then proceeds to buzz around Howie's head.
A speed boat drives by with a pretty female water skier in tow. She waves hello to him, and he waves back. A huge wave of water violently rocks the boat and splashes him. Howie is covered with seaweed, he's lost his glasses and two clams are stuck in his eye sockets. He bails the boat. To his delight at the bottom of the boat, he finds a cute little turtle wearing his glasses. He smiles and takes the glasses off of the turtle and puts them on his face. He feeds the turtle a worm. The cute little turtle bites the worm and then chomps down on Howie's finger. Howie screams in pain at the snapping turtle's bite.
Howie is in a panic, the turtle won't let go. He tries prying it off with his foot, rocking the boat back and forth. He then goes into a crazy dance trying to flip the turtle off of his finger. He frantically throws his hand into the lake and shakes it around in the water. He falls in. The turtle swims underwater taking Howie with him. The turtle takes Howie for a little joyride among all the strange underwater life. Howie is in need of air and is hallucinating. His images become psychedelic. In horror, he sees a shark and points it out to the turtle. The turtle struggles to get Howie up to the top, making it to the surface just it time. Howie hurts his head as he pops up hitting the bottom of the boat. He manages to stumble back into the boat with the turtle.
The female water skier goes by again. Howie starts the motor and sticks his hand in the water thinking the motion, ie. the water skier, might free his finger of the turtle. He gains speed, steering the boat haphazardly in all directions. All his attention is on getting the turtle off. He has a close call with a canoe filled with girl scouts. They scream and frantically wave at him, and in a split second he veers the boat in the opposite direction. The canoe spins in circles.
Howie takes a red sky rocket out of his pocket and stuffs it up the turtle's butt. He lights it. It blows them both high in the sky. The turtle ends up coming free from Howie's finger. The turtle's parachute opens and Howie comes down fast like a cannonball splashing into the water. Howie looks at his free hand. He is filled with joy. The turtle lands near Howie, Howie waves at him. The water skier goes by again, the turtle is in her path. Howie is alarmed.
The water skier speeds off and the turtle is floating on his back. Howie makes a mad swim over to the turtle. A tearful Howie cradles the turtle, comforting him. He wonders, is the turtle dead? The bird flies by again and poops on Howie. The turtle wakes up and bites Howie's finger again. Joyously dancing in the boat, the two drive off into the sunset.